OxiClean is some serious sh!t. Y'all remember when OxiClean first stepped on the scene? Had this hyper azz Northeasterner yelling at me how wonderful OxiClean was.
The year was 1993. Billy Mays has been with us every day since it seems. Always in my house yelling at me about how you can scrap it, you can toss it, you can break it, you can pee on it, you can take a dump on it, you can even scrub it against you mother-in-laws old azz! OxiClean will get it out!
Then there was the weeder that could remove nuclear fallout mutant weeds. Folk wouldn't have been surprised if there was some other gizmo that attached to a drill that could clean out your female spouse period soaked pu$$y. Just once a month on the first sight of your monthly period, just attach the accessory to your drill, insert into the vaginal orifice and run for ten minutes on low. No more period for the rest of the year! It's so easy that your child can do it!
Folk figures that white jesus must have slipped over the weekend fvcking around with Michael Jackson. Not literally! (y'all fvckers nasty) But white jesus was attempting that MJ moonwalk and Bamm, Bammmm, BAMM! White jesus fell on Venus (or some sh!t). What ya going to do when you're a Caucasian deity with all power and your robe is dirty? Call up the one guy that can clean anything!
Here's to you Billy Mays (July 20, 1958 – June 28, 2009). Folk's infomercials just wont be the same without you (kinda like Folk's movies without "the voice.") Billy, you were definitely a part of Folk's household.
One for the road...
Disclaimer: Jesus name was not used with the Son-of-God's permission. The use of the name Jesus was not meant to offend any hispanic decendants with a name that looks similar, spelled similar, or sounds like Gsus. Should you encounter any religious zealots that have taken offense by this totally over the top obvious satirical post, slap those fvckers in the head and tell them to lay back and laugh for a second. Get that prune out their azz and enjoy a moment while memorializing an American commercial icon. If Folk missed any disclaimer that Folk should have claimed to disclaim then disclaim the disclaimer as to claim the disclaimer is to disclaim that any disclaimer has been claimed!
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Then there was the weeder that could remove nuclear fallout mutant weeds. Folk wouldn't have been surprised if there was some other gizmo that attached to a drill that could clean out your female spouse period soaked pu$$y. Just once a month on the first sight of your monthly period, just attach the accessory to your drill, insert into the vaginal orifice and run for ten minutes on low. No more period for the rest of the year! It's so easy that your child can do it!Folk figures that white jesus must have slipped over the weekend fvcking around with Michael Jackson. Not literally! (y'all fvckers nasty) But white jesus was attempting that MJ moonwalk and Bamm, Bammmm, BAMM! White jesus fell on Venus (or some sh!t). What ya going to do when you're a Caucasian deity with all power and your robe is dirty? Call up the one guy that can clean anything!
Here's to you Billy Mays (July 20, 1958 – June 28, 2009). Folk's infomercials just wont be the same without you (kinda like Folk's movies without "the voice.") Billy, you were definitely a part of Folk's household.
One for the road...
Disclaimer: Jesus name was not used with the Son-of-God's permission. The use of the name Jesus was not meant to offend any hispanic decendants with a name that looks similar, spelled similar, or sounds like Gsus. Should you encounter any religious zealots that have taken offense by this totally over the top obvious satirical post, slap those fvckers in the head and tell them to lay back and laugh for a second. Get that prune out their azz and enjoy a moment while memorializing an American commercial icon. If Folk missed any disclaimer that Folk should have claimed to disclaim then disclaim the disclaimer as to claim the disclaimer is to disclaim that any disclaimer has been claimed!
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4 comments:
your disclaimer is killing me slowly..
LMAO.....
Makes me wanna go out and buy a Big City Slider Station in memory of shawty.
LMMFAO Folk! You definitely said it right. White jesus must've needed some serious stain fighting power :-( I'ma miss Billy Mays hollering at me every day. Seriously.
Why folk stupid like this! R.I.P Billy Mays... that's hard up man
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