Maddie believes in Freedom? Really! You Sure? Maddie for Congress in 2010!

Maddie don't even know her fvcking name. Hell, Maddie still has moments were sleep is an unseen enemy that is trying to kill Maddie when she's not looking.

Occasionally you'll find Maddie sitting in her own sh!t sucking on her toes while wondering what that "smell" is.

Maddie is a fvcking baby Congressman! A fvcking baby. But yet again, Folk wishes that even half of the people in Congress showed the restraint that Maddie shows. Hell if Maddie is so fvcking smart, why don't we just elect Maddie to Congress?

Plus why did my elder Caucasian cousin have to select a Caucasian blond female to use as his "prop?" Talk about $exist motherfvcker.

See Folk looks at the meaning behind the meaning. What, a Hispanic baby wasn't adorable enough to talk about health care? Or what about an Asian child? God forbid if the good Congressman brought a black male baby into the hallowed halls. Heck, motherfvcker possibly wouldn't have made it pass security.

And why Maddie got all this money and political will to convince the good Congressman to tell her story. Is this fvcking baby evolutionary track so far advanced that speaking is unnecessary and her words are transmitted through telekinesis?

D@mned Folk hate that in the 21st century that the representatives of the American public on looks to it's constituents as nothing more than "props" to only promote their selfish agendas.

Maddie for Congress in 2010!

Cancer is gonna kick Folk's azz!

The advertisement proclaims "Marathon and Half Marathon to fight cancer." As Folk trains for Folk's first half marathon, Folk thinks if Cancer was a person... Cancer would kick all our collective tired azzes at the fvcking finishing line.

Seriously people, Folk is doing this for a couple of reasons.

1) Folk needs to keep Folk's azz in shape. Having a goal and focusing on that goal gives Folk a reason to work that sh!t out and get back in fvcking shape.

2) The $exual side effects are awesome! Once Folk get over the hump, there will be some humping going on! ...but Folk digress.

As for the capitalistic bullsh!t that has surrounded the devastating disease... Well, it's just that. Bullsh!t. As Chris Rock said, there is no money or gain from curing a fvcking disease. No matter how horrible it is, the fact is that there is a lot of money to be gained from the treatment. Billions of dollars are donated yearly to various organizations to cure the disease... And nothing. Just "Advances" in treatment. And treatments cost money!

Think about that sh!t. Every day, there is a new fvcking cartoon telling Folk that if Folk breaths for more than five times a minute, that it's possible that Folk is suffering from some new tell your doctor to prescribe you this new expensive bullsh!t that may cause anal leakage, reduce $exual activity, causes skin dryness, and genital shrinkage. All for the cheap price of $600.00 a month. Oh and if you take this medication, you'll need to take drugsomemore to get rid of that anal leakage condition. It'll set you back $250.00 a month. Oh, and it causes a slight bit of extreme constipation. But our sister company has a drink mix that will take care of that for $30.00 a bottle. Fvckers.

As Folk trains, Folk thinks about all those who have suffered and died with breast cancer. Folk often wonders if those motherfvckers who hinder the cure or steals money from these organizations can sleep at night. And if they can sleep, Folk wishes that the cancer shows up and sits in the corner of their bedroom, watching. Breathing heavily. Waiting... And time they get up to take a late night piss, jumps up and pulls their boxers down and plucks a pubic hair. EVERY FVCKING NIGHT!

Here's to all who have fought the fight via the treatment and have overcome the disease.

Forgive me Grandma but... this b!tch is trying to kill Folk!

The lil lady tries to keep her sh!t tight and right. So recently she been working out at home utilizing some assistance via DVD. So Folk decided to get off the couch and do some physical activity today. Hmmmm... where's that DVD. Folk remembers those Richard Simmons commercials from back in the day. Can't be too bad. Right?

Pop that DVD in, get through all the legal bullsh!t about warning to Folk's health and fvcking sh!t about making sure you're in good physical shape before participating in the activities of said DVD. blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Check with your doctor, blah blah blah... Whateva!

There are three levels. One for beginners, two for intermediate, and three for advanced. So Folk's man mind convinced Folk that surely seeing this is a "woman's" DVD fitness sh!t, it's level 3 for Folk. Ain't no b!tchazzness around here. Let's dance chick. Bawlz to the walls right?!?!

About 18 - 20 minutes in, Folk kinda blacked the fvck out. Folk don't know what happened. This motherfvcker was yelling at Fok about "back to mountain climbers! let's go! back to mountain climbers.

Folk lay there on the floor looking at the ceiling, examining the pretty patterns. Wondering how the fvck did this happen. Sweating like a motherfvcking nakkid man tied and bent over a chair in a prison yard devoid of guards in Mexico. Folk had visions of Richard Simmons standing over Folk screaming Don't go into the light! Please don't go into the light Folk!

What did Folk learn from this experience?

1) Jillian Michaels ain't no Richard Simmons. She's the physical fitness spawn of satan trained to kill those whose rear end has become accustomed to couches.

2) If you woman is using a DVD to stay in shape, better keep you game strong fellas. This sh!t ain't no joke.

3) If you in shape, you only think you're in shape. If you azz ain't in shape? Don't fvck with Jillian Michaels.

4) DVDs like this explain the reason why there's a sexual time gap between men and women. If women believed in watching sports, playing video games, and having a little dranky drank was enough physical activity to stay in shape, the bedroom time romp gap would disappear.

Folk featured in OHN Halloween Cartoon!

As most of y'all know, I moonlight over at O Hell Nawl blog every now and then as a guest writer. The creator Slaus decided to give a few of his guest writers a spot during this years send off of his ghostly character "Boo."

Folk is honored and thankful. Furthermore, if y'all haven't been over to check out the craziness going on at O Hell Nawl blog then click the fvcking link! Go check 'em out!

Click the link for the cartoon strip over at OHN.

...and Slaus, Thanks for the shout and the honor.

Trick or Treat Nicca!

Funny that I would experience this familiar fear as I travel through the south to old stomping grounds the day before Halloween. The fear I feel in the depts of my gut is a syndrome that a majority of black men in America suffer from. BMDA. Black man driving in America.

It's been discussed time and time again, the insecurity that black men feel in the presence of law officials while in a moving vehicle. From childhood our parents, thug friends, neighborhood hobos, excons, and others indoctrinate black male youths of the dangers of being pulled over by the police.

Many black men, myself included have been harrassed by "the law" over some bullsh!t reason for being pulled over. Johnny law looking for a reason, any reason, to take us in.

As a result of being guilty with the right to prove innocence, if we can afford it, has pushed many of my brown brothers to live the life portrayed by the media and Jonny law simply because it's easier. So this Halloween as you get your party on, trying to scare folks and sh!t, take a momment to realize it's Halloween for black and brown men in America every day. Trick or treat motherfvckers!

Ha ha ha ha haaaaa ha! Bloooop bloop!
::see the red and blue in the rearview. The nightmare continues::


-- Posted from my iPhone

Green with Plastic and Silicone? What about bucket azz nakiiid?

Folk doing Folk's thang and handling business at the copy place making some color prints of some business that Folk handling. When Folk hears... "How many copies you making?"

Folk: Six copies

Lady: This still you? How big is that document?

Folk: Almost 40 pages each.

Lady: Well that's not green. You're killing tress. Couldn't this be distributed via email?

Folk: You're correct, it isn't green. The colors printed are primary colors and none of them are combinations of yellow and blue which would be green. There is some red but that's a primary color too. Next time I'll have to put more green in there and be sure to include some trees into the document to replace the trees that I cut.

Lady: Looks at me bewildered and don't say another fvcking word.

Now what Folk wanted to say, or inquire, how green are you with aftermarket parts. You know! That silicone in behind what were your natural breast! Cause surely there are some green house gasses involved with the manufacturing of those. And let's not talk about the coal burning processes involved with the actual implantation of those! Do those off gas?

Plus, your non-green azz at the copy / print place too. Don't see sh!t but dead trees in up in this b!tch. ...and is that plastic in your lips?

Folk hates when self centered motherfvckers pick a cause to attempt to overshadow their own emotional and psychological short comings. If you gonna be green, then be green. Don't half do that sh!t. Clothes should be 100% natural fibers or better yet, just go buckkid azz nakiid. If this lil lady was bucket azz nakkiiiid and all au natural talking sh!t, then Folk wouldn't had sh!t to say other than un huh!

Da Roof! Da Roof! Da Roof is on fire!

We don't need no water let the motherfvcker burn!"

A famous song chant by the group Rockmaster Scott & the Dynamic Three from the year 1984. That's right you BETistic fools, this was created back in the early 80's. Another hip-hop fact for these young fools who don't know sh!t, one of the three was no other than Slick Rick. Few have heard the original song but the chant lives into the 21st century.

Back in the day, you couldn't curse on an Album and the complete chant was only used during live performances. There was something called... Decorum. Just so Folk don't loose those that grew up on BET, decorum according to Dictionary.com is:

dignified propriety of behavior, speech, dress, etc.

Ah what a time in American history when people actually cared about their perspective and made sure that their actions were indeed honorable, at least in appearance. So even though hip-hop was gritty back then, there was a sense of responsibility and the appearance of decorum.

Much like American businesses. Not so much in the 90's where the teenage hippies of the 60's and 70's who languished in the excess of $ex, debauchery, drugs, and alcohol, found themselves CFOs, CEOs, and other top level executives of companies making more cash in an hour than a 21st century jigaboo artist singing about a d@mned stanky leg makes throughout their career. See these same fools who bathe in the excess of the late 60's and early 70's in their youth became spoiled mentally and believed to the core that the "world was theirs to own, to manipulate, to use, and to dominate."

But all dreams must come to an end... And like most dreams of excess, when those dreams are over, their fvcking over! But like kids in a candy store with a multi-billion dollar trust fund, pulling those fvckers out of the store can be difficult. Fvckers trying to figure out how to keep the party going even though everyone is passed out on crack.

During the Bankers Convention in Chicago, the American Banking Association celebrated by hosting a roaring 20's themed party. Really? We partying like all is well? Is that what we doing? Really? Talk about a pure case of psychological dissociation order.

Furthermore, these fvckers don't understand why the people outside are upset. Protesters have shown up in force and Folk commend them for what they're doing up there in Chi-city!

Keep the protest going and remind these fvckers of what they have done to us to keep their fvcking party going. Except this time, the roof is really on fire and TARP funds for water ain't going to put this fvcker out. [Source: Huffington Post]

The gaul of these fvckers to have a convention after raping the American public of fundage for them to have parties, riverboat rides, and drinks on the American tax payers dollar. Even though their debauchery put quite a few Americans out of job, further limiting that tax payer pool. Fvckers.

Rockmaster Scott & the Dynamic Three is right regarding this fiasco known as the Banking Bailout, The Roof is on fire! we don't need no water, let this &$&%*$&# +# BURN!"

Folk hoping the motherfvckers who started this whole economic collapse is still in the fvcking building when the sh!t gets nasty too. Burn Fvckers. Burn. And when the building is burned completely down those protesters up in Chi-city can come on down and jump in the pool. What y'all think about this sh!t.

Here's your bill. ...and here's your penalty! Ha! Ha!

How would you feel if the Pizza delivery person gave you a bill, then slapped you with a penalty when you paid your bill, then threaten to shoot you if you didn't pay the fine?

Folk confused. Folk really confused.

So, by being a responsible financially sound adult, Folk get's penalized?

For all you BETistic fvckers who may happen by, Banks have begun, or have plans to begin, charging it's responsible customers fees for being responsible! That's right.

Like to pay your bills on time? PENALTY. Like to keep a no balance credit card? PENALTY! Like to use your card responsibly which sometimes causes you not to use your credit card? PEN-AL-FVCKING-T!

These fvckers are going to get their money from somebody, some how. See, Congress is actually doing something right and stopping banks from predatory tactics of those who shouldn't have credit cards in the first fvcking place. The result? Getting there money from the folks who like to pay their bills and use credit responsibly.

See in the past, credit card companies became nothing more than street legal loan sharks. Any fvcker that was late was fvcked for life! Rate would shoot up astronoically, penalty would be assessed, and harassing calls would run up your cell phone bill. Will those with good credit and good bill paying habits enjoyed no annual fees, points, and low interest rates.

Not any more. The loop hole to the bills being passed to bring the banking industry into reality, under Credit Card Reform, are the average folk who pays their fvcking bills on time. In other words, middle America!

Don't know how many of you are history buffs, but if Folk's history memories serves Folk right, a diminishing middle class only equals a fall of society and eventual revolution. But Folk don't think a revolution will happen because fvckers too tied to the tube distracted by Bullsh!t to even realize that when America payed for that delivered pizza, America also was slapped with a fine for paying the bill and not taking that sh!t from the pizza boy instead.

[Source NYT]

Keeping Perspective

What you ask I can not give
To give you more surely will shorten the days I live
I'm tired of sneaking around with you and leaving my wife
I'm convince that the rewards you bring is not worth this type of life
But yet I need you, I've grown entangle in the song you sing
And I love what you do for me on Thursdays, you know that "thing"
My family knows about you and they know what's going on
My wife and I had our first date after we spent together all day long
I know she knows but puts up with what you're doing to me
Because as twisted as it is I'm blessed with you, this I clearly see
But we must find balance and find it quick
Because working this damned hard lately is physically making me sick
But I will climb once again smiling into your chamber
Because God knows I'm thankful that this isn't slave labor!
For all you hard workers out there, keep your head up! Stay grinding. For those of you that have lost jobs, keep searching. Don't give up. Find the blessings in the curses and deal with the curses with the blessings. And sometimes life just sucks, but the objective is never to give up! Rainbows are born of storms, but living through the storms can literally be hell on earth. When you think you're about to give up, reach out. If there's nothing to grab, fly into the abyss. If the abyss is too dark, close your eyes. If the pain is too horrible, get drunk and pass out. Grandma always said "I know it seems bad, but someone, somewhere has it harder than you."

Man up fvcker! Don't be no punk azz fvcker! Just do you! ...and own that sh!t.

A lot of people got mad hate right now for my man Justice of the Peace "ain't gonna marry no mix couples" Keith Bardwell. Folk ain't endorsing how Keith feels. Folk believes that Keith is entitled to Keith's beliefs but Folk doesn't feel that Keith should be able to violate the fvcking law as a Justice of the Fvcking Peace without repercussions.

Folk does give Keith props for owning up to his feelings and beliefs knowing d@mned well those beliefs and feelings would be controversial. Further more, Keith has held up to scrutiny and haven't offered no fvcking apology for his stance either. Keith is like "Fvck y'all, I believe what I believe and that's that."

But you know what Folk hate? Fvckers who aren't real with themselves and real with others. So d@mned near every politician is on Folk's sh!t list. Fony azz Fvckers...

And this fvcker right here, David Vitter, is a clear example of someone afraid to own up to how they feel. Yeah, yeah, Limpy D!ck, O' Folk means David, released a statement:

"First, Sen. Vitter thinks that all judges should follow the law as written and not make it up as they go along. Second, it would be amazing for anyone to do a story based on this fringe, left-wing political hack's blog -- he's been handcuffed and detained in the past over his guerrilla tactics."

But what the fvck does that sh!t mean. Still haven't voiced whether he agrees or disagrees with Kieth Bardwell.

Watch this sh!t:


So Keith! You can get your azz in the pool with Folk for the day and chill. Folk got mad love for a person that will voice their opinion knowing d@mned well that sh!t could get their azz kicked and still sticks to their guns. We should conversate.

As for D!ck Vitter... Fvck you! D!ck you get the "No Swimming" sign from Folk.

[source]